Honestly. People do not know what to say to people who are adopting.
When at work is it OK to yell down the hall at an adoptive mother, "Is she here yet?" Then, when she shakes her head no, add the ever helpful and pleasant "She's not coming home, is she?"
No. It's not ok.
Please, at least be in close proximity before asking if MY DAUGHTER is NEVER coming home. Ok. I take it back. Just don't say it.
Is it ok to try to convince me that people "should get to go to Ethiopia and choose their child?"
No. Also, when I look at you like that, don't try harder to convince me. I'm trying to take deep breaths and find my peace-filled inner core.
I'm going to say it. If you haven't adopted, you probably don't know a whole lot about it.
You don't know if "a domestic adoption would have been quicker" (and you certainly don't know if I care. Oh, I very much don't).
We chose to adopt an older child, so saying "well I hope she's 6, that would be A LOT better than 9", isn't true OR helpful.
If you've never adopted and never plan on adopting, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE DONE (where you "would have" adopted from, what gender child, what age child, any of it). I don't even understand that. "I know I would have..." HUH? But you didn't and you're not going to. So you wouldn't have. You didn't (my head spinning is producing the redundancy).
I'm not concentrating on what you're saying now, my eyes are squinty because I'm thinking about how much your stupidity actually hurts my brain.
Also, I know I'm a picky girl, but I like it when you see a picture of my child for the first time that you say something nice (and it shouldn't be difficult. Have you seen my prettier-than-any-super-model child?).
NOT "How old is she?", "Why is her head shaved?" OR anything about how "lucky she is."
Seriously people! LUCKY? Let me go throw up. A lot.
She is my baby. My baby.
It IS as big of a deal to adopt a child as to have one biologically.
It IS as big of a deal to adopt a child as it is to adopt a baby.
She is my baby. My baby.
It is a celebration for our family. It is a celebration of a life being brought into our family. It is huge. For us.
I feel like handing out an instructional pamphlet for people when they ask to see a picture of my girl.
PLEASE SAY: "CONGRATS! SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!"
Now stop talking. Nope. Don't say that. Or that. Or ever that. Still not a good idea.
Now smile and walk away. Quick.
I've been working on this "pregnancy" for a very long time, I've run out of patience.