I am nervous. and excited. and overwhelmed. and happy. I am going to meet my 8ish-year-old daughter in less than a week.
I can't post any identifying information, but I just realized that I have a lot to say.
If I think about how she feels, for even a tiny fraction of a second, my eyes fill with tears. All that she has lost, all that she is going to lose. I keep reading, but I just don't think I can really prepare myself for so many unknowns.
I can't share "identifying information."
I can describe her.
She is tiny and beautiful. Long, skinny limbs. Almond-shaped eyes. She looks very different from Judah, but both of my babies have eyes that tell long stories with glances. Her eyes are more careful than his. In some pictures, her look alone makes you take a deep breath and you feel the impact in your stomach. You remember it. It's powerful. After seeing her picture, one sweet friend wrote about being "instantly overcome from my gut to my tears."
I don't share those pictures often. They feel personal and I'm very protective of her. Although, I have to tell you, they are beautiful.
In other pictures, she's been described as a doe and I don't have better words. Her gentle nature is clear. Those I share.
Her skin is dark ebony and her lips are full, but not big. She has barely there eyebrows and her hair is shaved.
I have completely fallen in love with her. Our girl. A.
I haven't met her, but here are some words from people who have:
A is a very loving eight year old girl. She comes off as being shy at first but once she gets comfortable she is sociable, friendly, and interacts with her peers well. She enjoys playing with others, drawing pictures, playing with toys, and jumping rope. She is very mature and kind in how she treats other children. She is usually the peacemaker when other children get into fights. She also shares her toys with others. She is independent and recognizes her responsibility and follows through her chores. She speaks two languages fluently. She is a bright little girl and eager to learn new things. A has a beautiful smile that really lights up a room.
A fellow adoptive mama:
First, I have to tell you that A is absolutely adorable! I was able to give A lots of hugs and kisses and we held hands (I think she liked the fact that I knew her name). The hardest and saddest part for me was not being able to tell her that I knew her mommy and that her mommy would be there soon. A smiled a lot, but in almost every picture, she did not smile.
Words from last week:
I was at the care center almost every day and A is just so wonderful. When anyone visits the care center, all of the children run up to the visitors for hugs and attention. Every time, A would come up to me and give me a big hug. She didn’t seem to be asking for attention, rather she seemed to be welcoming me with her big smile and a hug. She has so much character. She loves to be dressed up in hats and she loves smiling. I don't think a minute went by where there wasn't a huge smile on her face. It was wonderful to meet her and I can't wait for you to get there in just a few weeks!!
We are leaving in SIX days. Six. Wow.