Thursday, January 29, 2009

OTK

Here's another little post I wrote forever ago. After hearing a friend tell me about her perfect in-between person today, I decided to post it. I've been dealing with a lot of ugliness lately and it helps to be reminded that a little niceness paired with good advice CAN actually help.

Years ago, I didn't think I would be a good mom. I had even been told this by a few others.
I also didn't think I was smart. My older sister was the smart one (still is). I hoped I had something. I just didn't know what that something was.
Then, I met with Dr. OTK.
He directed:
"You need to go to grad school. You're smart. I know you have kids..."
I quickly corrected him, "I don't have kids."
With a puzzled look, he continued, "Maybe I thought you had kids because you are the most maternal person that I have ever met. Anyway, you're smart. You need to go to grad school. I will make sure you get in. I will stand up and fight for you if necessary."

In one conversation, I changed how I looked at myself. I left thinking "I can do great things professionally in my life. I have the potential to be a good enough mom."
He was not TOO close to me, where I thought he might just be talking to make me feel good. He was not a stranger who didn't know what he was talking about. He had no personal agenda. He was that perfect in-between person, who I thought knew enough.

I never got to thank him. He passed away a few years ago. I wish I had. Now I just have to remind myself to be that perfect in-between person for someone else. Or at least aspire to be.

Thank you Dr. OTK. I don't know who I'd be without you.

4 comments:

Lori said...

Oh I'm sorry you've been dealing with stuff. :(

But this is just beautiful... and so true. He was obviously a very intuitive man.

Eastiopians said...

I have only seen you as a great mother and very intelligent, so these insights often surprise me. I am so very glad you had someone that awakened your inner voice. I think that when someone speaks to you in such a profound way, that you were really just waiting to hear it. It was in you all along.

Julie said...

I can't believe anyone would have said that about you, (not being a good mom). That is the absolute opposite of what I would say, the absolute opposite. I am glad someone helped inspire you, and sad that you needed it. Also so sorry you are dealing with ugliness. Hope more beauty is headed your way...

susan said...

You are a very accomplished woman and a beautiful mother. You're the funniest person.
love,
Mom