Thursday, January 15, 2009

Envy

I've been toying with the idea of dieting. I'm honest about it. I'm just not ready. I love food. I love wine. A lot.
This does not mean that I don't realize I have a tad of extraness. I deal with this by repeatedly reminding myself that beauty can have a little extraness...AND be equally as beautiful. Ok, so sometimes I go to dark, shallow places to remind myself of this.
Example:
I was at work observing the kids playing on the playground, feeling very zen. When I noticed in the distance how pretty a fellow teacher was. Here's where I admit what a huge jerk I am (remind yourself, as you rightly judge me, that you sometimes have thoughts that don't make you the most proud). What I noticed is that she was VERY pretty, healthy looking. How had I not noticed before? I processed the info, "see, she is absolutely beautiful and her tummy may even have SLIGHTLY more extra than mine. You can have extra and be perfect. I don't need to diet."
Yes, that was my thought. I'm pathetic. I admit it.
After this sick incident, we had 3 weeks off of work for winter break. I returned this week to the obvious: She's pregnant.
Yes, I was feeling better about MY body by comparing it to a pregnant woman. Sad.
But, here's the interesting part: Not one cell of my body envied her. Not one little cell.

12 comments:

Jana Kunz said...

OMG, you are so skinny! Every time I see a picture of you I think of how great you look and how I need to lose weight! I do think you would be a cute pregnant person too. :o)

Julie said...

Dani you are hilarious! You are incredibly beautiful.

Eastiopians said...

Exactly, when you've got Judah then you don't need the baby bump. He is every bit of happy that you need. And btw...You. Are. Skinny. :)

Lori said...

Either I'm reading something different than some of the others or I'm fishing and reading between the lines here a bit.

How beautiful and wonderful that you were able to recognize that information the way you did. What a powerful moment that must have been. Love it! That's exactly how I feel when I see them too. What a gift and a blessing that I was lead to the path that we went down. Wouldn't trade this journey (that's still going on) for the world! Did I read this post right?

Also, I'm feeling a bit guilty after reading all your comments from the other post (buba). It makes sense that none of your readers are readers of mine! They would gasp in horror if they spent a day at Camp Parker! Or should I say Parker Prison Camp for Toddlers! Oh well, I hold firm on my opinion. However, when it came to potty training we didn't push it. It happened when he was ready. What was the point of forcing it? And ya know what... he literally went from diapers to undies all in a day. Never one accident since! Strange!

California couldn't handle me. Or I couldn't handle CA!! Talk about outnumbered. I know you'd still be my friend though! ;)

Nicole said...

When you do yoga does your fat get in the way? (personal experience) "Does my fat make me look fat?"

Jocelyn said...

I am not fat, I am fluffy:-) Love this post Danielle!!

J'Laine said...

You are beautiful and perfectly proportioned. Keep the wine and dessert coming...you deserve it! But, very funny post...

Lori said...

We get each other, poor grammer and all! :)

Lea said...

You are funny! And, what the heck are you talkin' about? You ARE skinny!

courtney rose said...

What a wonderful moment that must have been for you... to realize you didn't feel envy at the sight of a pregnant belly! It's a note-worthy time indeed!!

Jillienne said...

You are hilarious!!

Thanks for the comment on my blog, your blog was one that I lost and I have been missing my daily Judah fix!

Ted and Lori said...

I agree with the others. Remember where you live--L.A., the land of crazy obsessive skinny women. You are gorgeous. Period.