This last weekend marked one year since we passed through courts and Judah officially became our son. I remember waking up in the morning and racing down to the computer (I had very specific rules I had set up for myself so that I wouldn't stay up all night checking every 2 minutes. Being slightly obsessive is not always a strength.). When I opened the email I saw this:
Dear Danielle and Thomas, Congratulations. The court granted your adoption of Tesfahun today.
I had lost my ability to comprehend the written word. I asked Tommy, "What does this mean?" He explained and I still couldn't believe it. I still can't.
I was having a typical conversation with Judah yesterday while I was changing his diaper. I was telling him how I love him. I started with his body parts. "I love your toe nails. I love your belly button wrinkles." That sort of thing. I obviously don't love him because he's the cutest being I've ever seen. I don't love him because he's such a good and sweet little baby. I'm positive if he were naughty I'd love him the same. It comes down to the fact that every one of my cells loves every one of his cells. To think we've been his for one full year. To think about the court deciding that one year ago. It's too strange and emotionally complex for words.