Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Mother's Day...2 year anniversary

Mother's Day began (prior to being commercialized with flowers, chocolate, and brunch) as a day for Mothers to advocate for peace and for mothers to speak out against the war (originally the civil war). There are parades and events to reclaim Mother's Day, as the root of the holiday is currently so pertinent. Today, I'm thinking about all of the mothers with sons overseas. I wish we all celebrated the holiday in the original/more meaningful way.
It feels so funny that now we celebrate by thanking people that are lucky enough to hold this title. To me it's like "Lottery Winner's Day", silly stuff... Don't get me wrong- I do enjoy being celebrated ... and there are so many inspiring mamas out there that I will be thinking of today!
The director of the adoption agency I worked with for our homestudy told me, "Mother's Day is very difficult for a lot of women." I know. Two years ago today I was having a miscarriage, one year ago today I was still paralyzed with fear that I might never be a mom (the adoption process is VERY emotionally tricky) - THAT was hard. That's when I needed a day. Those are some of the women that I'm thinking of today and I just wish I could give you/them all a hug and some reassurance that dreams of mommyhood can/will come true - and perhaps be that much more wonderful and every-moment-appreciated because of the struggle.

I wrote that on Mother's Day and never posted it. I'm not sure why, but I have a few ideas. I thought Mother's Day would be easy and fun this year. I really did. I thought that since I know I'm beyond blessed (I mean, have you met Jude? He is a way cooler than I ever could be. I'm just lucky he lets me hang with him) it would be just celebratory. But, I was heartbroken. Too sad for all the women out there that felt like I did. That struggle. So sad I just kind of felt like throwing up.


Lori said...

Oh Momma, you're emotional like me! But you should take the honor of Mothers Day. You earned it just as much as anyone.

I know what you mean and know how you feel about celebrating... it feels like you've finally made it into the "MOM CLUB" and other's still are struggling. Keep moving forward, nobody who is a true friend or confidant would want you to be in the same struggle just because they are!!!

MP and I struggled w/infertility for a year and a half w/several (early) miscarries... it sucked. But, I wouldn't have the turnout any other way now! It was a blessing. All of our journeys are at different speeds for a reason that we don't know. I know that our journey is taking FOREVER because the right little princess parker hasn't made her way to the right place yet... What hurts me the most is the mom's in ET... that absolutely kills me...

The point I'm trying to make is that I don't want you to feel guilty for your blessings... it's so wonderful and healthy to be compassionate and empathetic, but you must rejoice in the beauty that surrounds you!

Jude is one lucky little guy and if he's not quite sure how to tell you now, he will praise your efforts and love you throughout his entire life.

Happy Mother's Day Danni!
xo Lor

PS.Thanks for opening up to us and sharing... it's so wonderful to get to know you even more friend!

xoxo Lor

Jocelyn said...

You are one amazing gal...you think of everyone...please do celebrate your Mommyness (yes, made up word) because you deserve it. Give Jude some kisses from his girls in Tulsa!

brotayjax said...

I think that it would be easy to incorporate BOTH meanings into one day. On Mother's Day a few years ago I marched in a Million Mom March for stricter gun control and then my family celebrated me and generations before me later in the day.

Actually, I think I'll run with this idea. Next year I want to do something to honor women who are hurting in some way... be it through having a child overseas OR for having lost OR for having to abandon/relinquish their child. I think this would be very appropos.

Thanks for your deep thoughts, Danielle...