Tommy and I love Mammoth during the summer. We have gone every summer for the last 10 years. It's magic. Regardless of how excited we are to go, the beauty and experience always surpasses our expectations. Part of the goodness is how little we do when we are up there. We can EASILY walk (too short to describe as a hike) to a few gorgeous lakes. Judah loves to run on the shore and chase birds. We love watching him. We cook simple meals and sit on the deck soaking in the amazing view. That's it. Really. We nap when Judah naps. No Internet. No TV. Perfection.
I always think that Mammoth comes at the perfect time of year for us. That time when we NEED quality family time, to clear our heads, enjoy ourselves and just laugh. It's the time when we spend an hour discussing things like which characters on Gilligan's Island should have coupled up and why (we figured it ALL out, if you have any questions, please let me know). You know, the important stuff in life.
Despite our busy matchmaking schedule, we also have time to reflect and plan.
When we were driving home, I looked at Tommy and realized that I didn't have any questions left. It's the first time, in a very long time, I didn't. It's a good thing.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
Siblings
Right before my summer break, I wrote this, just as a goal:
The heart is a muscle. You test it, create small tears, which build new connections, making it bigger, stronger, more solid, able to carry more. I believe it's better because of all the little (and big) rips and tears.
I've known wonderful people with few tears. Beautiful people. But, I prefer people with tears. I'm proud of my tears.
I'm me because of my tears.
I'm going to take a break this summer and let my heart get lazy and fat.
I'm tired.
Most of me doesn't want to start the adoption process again. My heart isn't ready. I know my heart needs to be strong for that journey. The journey that exercises every single little part of the heart, stretching each cell to the point of breakage. Right now it's lazy and fat.
So, we're going to take our time and hope for some clarity.
My life is all about Judah. Really, everyone's life should be. I just worry sometimes that he should have someone to play/fight with.
Judah knows what "family" is. If I ask him, he'll name members and smile. I know he's surrounded by love.
I always envisioned myself with a VW bus full of children. It's so strange to watch my own vision changing.
The heart is a muscle. You test it, create small tears, which build new connections, making it bigger, stronger, more solid, able to carry more. I believe it's better because of all the little (and big) rips and tears.
I've known wonderful people with few tears. Beautiful people. But, I prefer people with tears. I'm proud of my tears.
I'm me because of my tears.
I'm going to take a break this summer and let my heart get lazy and fat.
I'm tired.
Most of me doesn't want to start the adoption process again. My heart isn't ready. I know my heart needs to be strong for that journey. The journey that exercises every single little part of the heart, stretching each cell to the point of breakage. Right now it's lazy and fat.
So, we're going to take our time and hope for some clarity.
My life is all about Judah. Really, everyone's life should be. I just worry sometimes that he should have someone to play/fight with.
Judah knows what "family" is. If I ask him, he'll name members and smile. I know he's surrounded by love.
I always envisioned myself with a VW bus full of children. It's so strange to watch my own vision changing.
Auntie Nicole
went back to Thailand today. Judah asks "Auntie?" and then answers his own question by nodding and saying, "airplane."
He has spent all morning bringing me heels and saying, "This Auntie Cole's."*
We miss her.
*Auntie Cole is ONLY 5'2", but no one who has met her would believe this. I know this is true because I saw her without 938457 inch heels once. She was 9.
He has spent all morning bringing me heels and saying, "This Auntie Cole's."*
We miss her.
*Auntie Cole is ONLY 5'2", but no one who has met her would believe this. I know this is true because I saw her without 938457 inch heels once. She was 9.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
adOPTION
I understand wanting to have a large family. Large families have lots of little warm bodies and big, fuzzy, loud dinners around the table, huge holiday laughter, sibling love/torture, fierce celebrations, companions in the craziness and witnesses to the insanity.
I think that every child born is a blessing. Deserving of all the morsels of love that exist in the universe. Needing all the positive energy available.
I think it sounds amazing to have a babe grow in your belly. To love them through the process and to be in awe and inspired by the beauty.
I also think that we have limited natural resources. I believe in zero population growth.
I “get” wanting to have a biological baby. I get even having two. When I hear my people (the ones that are educated and have resources for other options) planning their third, forth, fifth, etc. I get confused. I also don’t “get” Octomom or the Kate/John 8 people.
Perhaps part of the question I have is “why isn’t adoption an option?” You know about my experience? Obviously being the single most powerful and beautiful experience of my life. Additionally, let’s not forget, many precious children need families. Where is the social responsibility? Where is the responsibility to Mother Earth? We are leaving the Earth to these children we love so endlessly. Don’t we want to do what we can? Is it because people actually believe that we have unlimited resources? That it doesn’t/shouldn’t apply to them? Or perhaps their genes are so extraordinary that more is in fact better?
I know at the beginning of the adoption process we were told some CRAZY things like, “don’t waste your genes” and “oh, we want you to HAVE a baby.”
But they were crazy things. At least to us.
I just don’t get it, so I thought I’d throw my confusion out into the universe.
I think that every child born is a blessing. Deserving of all the morsels of love that exist in the universe. Needing all the positive energy available.
I think it sounds amazing to have a babe grow in your belly. To love them through the process and to be in awe and inspired by the beauty.
I also think that we have limited natural resources. I believe in zero population growth.
I “get” wanting to have a biological baby. I get even having two. When I hear my people (the ones that are educated and have resources for other options) planning their third, forth, fifth, etc. I get confused. I also don’t “get” Octomom or the Kate/John 8 people.
Perhaps part of the question I have is “why isn’t adoption an option?” You know about my experience? Obviously being the single most powerful and beautiful experience of my life. Additionally, let’s not forget, many precious children need families. Where is the social responsibility? Where is the responsibility to Mother Earth? We are leaving the Earth to these children we love so endlessly. Don’t we want to do what we can? Is it because people actually believe that we have unlimited resources? That it doesn’t/shouldn’t apply to them? Or perhaps their genes are so extraordinary that more is in fact better?
I know at the beginning of the adoption process we were told some CRAZY things like, “don’t waste your genes” and “oh, we want you to HAVE a baby.”
But they were crazy things. At least to us.
I just don’t get it, so I thought I’d throw my confusion out into the universe.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Judah's 2nd Birthday Train Party!
Judah had a great time at his Choo Choo Train Party yesterday! Thank you to everyone who was able to join us!
This morning he is on an incredible giggle/dancing high as he plays with all of his new presents.
I have huge slide show dreams (because, let's face it, there were SO many super cutie pies in attendance that NEED to be included). In the meantime, here are a couple pictures of the fun:
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Auschwitz-Birkenau
Last week we went to Auschwitz-Birkenau. It's an extremely heavy and powerful experience that will change you. Very difficult. Impossible to share. No, I can't touch sharing Auschwitz. I can't even explain my feelings. I know it included legs of heavy lead, a rib cage that refused to lift with breaths and dizziness that made it impossible to comprehend no matter how hard I tried. You should go too. Everyone should.
I don't have words that can touch the place. Perhaps, because none of us will ever really understand. But, words are important. I suggest the memoir Night by Elie Wiesel. It's a powerful account of the year he spent in Auschwitz, the largest death camp.
I don't have words that can touch the place. Perhaps, because none of us will ever really understand. But, words are important. I suggest the memoir Night by Elie Wiesel. It's a powerful account of the year he spent in Auschwitz, the largest death camp.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Stop and Listen to the Music
Experiencing Europe with our little toddler is a bit different than the last time we were here. One of the major differences is that our Jude demands we take time for some of his interests. Anyone who has met our love, knows his extreme appreciation of all things music. When walking down the street he directs us toward the sound ("THAT WAY!"), insists we stop, give money to, and listen to the street musicians. If he feels that we leave too quickly, Poland hears about it. Our love LOVES music and lets it be known. Therefore, during this trip we have taken time to stop and listen to the music, which has enriched our experience and is a perfect reminder of why visiting Europe with Judah is so much better.
Here's Judah listening to music all over Krakow.
Here's Judah listening to music all over Krakow.
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