tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270937189697735920.post8163606858145088822..comments2023-10-02T07:05:57.548-07:00Comments on Journey with Judah and Aster: Misspent Pride?Danni and Tommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16913598658012982425noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270937189697735920.post-9448870319866352722009-01-05T12:30:00.000-08:002009-01-05T12:30:00.000-08:00I totally agree that white skin is high maintenanc...I totally agree that white skin is high maintenance...I turn red and freckle like a mad-woman. :) And I love being outdoors so it is a struggle. But, I still dig it, just as I dig all skin tones. I love your post. I have already been faced with people who whisper "black" as if it's a bad word, and I picture my future daughter and how I would react. How I will react, even now. Right now I feel like I grow fangs and want to attack...so I hope I can use that anger and that energy to protect and to teach pride. I love your little man and you are a good mama.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270937189697735920.post-7123530942877848312009-01-05T12:56:00.000-08:002009-01-05T12:56:00.000-08:00Thanks so much for writing this, Danielle. What an...Thanks so much for writing this, Danielle. What an insightful and powerful post. I struggle so often with what to say in regards to rude or outright racist remarks. Because I feel like we ALL have the right to be offended if someone makes a racial remark...even if it is not our skin color that is being referenced. I feel more emboldened by reading your post. Thanks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270937189697735920.post-65401123493642975992009-01-05T15:53:00.000-08:002009-01-05T15:53:00.000-08:00I've worried about this like crazy. My scenario is...I've worried about this like crazy. My scenario is that I'm on a subway in New York city and someone makes some racial slur about my daughter, or about me and my daughter, something. And how will I be able to respond with grace and kindness, the way I think that SHE would want to respond if she were older and understood things more, and yet still somehow defending her ... I don't know. I can only think that I will probably punch someone. (Okay, probably not, but that's truly all I can think of), but I guess I'm more likely to just stand there inept and dumbstruck and stupid and then get off at the next stop and cry myself to sleep that night. But the thing is .... oh. What's the thing.<br><br>I think Amy B's comment is right on -- that we DO all have the right to be offended by racism. Maybe, the duty to be. If she and I were BOTH black, I could muster up some grace and some thoughtfulness in the face of ignorance and teach my daughter how to handle racism. Possibly, anyway. But if a slur is directed at HER, I feel like I owe it to her to defend defend defend. To hell with grace. Grace is for my OWN battles. For her, I would rip someone's heart out. But what will that teach her? Geez. I'm going to bed. Thank you, as always, for posting. For now, I'm glad I live in Senegal! These things really just don't come up here.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270937189697735920.post-63111206366278846142009-01-05T16:44:00.000-08:002009-01-05T16:44:00.000-08:00Thank you for sharing your heart. It is beautiful!...Thank you for sharing your heart. It is beautiful! I'm sorry you had to hurt over what that person said in your company. It's something we think about as well. Especially as our daughter gets older and isn't in our little cocoon of life. It's scary as all get out. All we can do is prepare them and be there for them when they struggle. They will struggle at somepoint because of a comment or look or worse. <br><br>The good thing about it is that we've all had something that has come up in our lives to cause us a great amount of pain. While it will be different than Tessa's, it's still prepared me just as your upbringing prepared you. The fact that you are reflective of if and are preparing for it just shows what a terrific mom you are to Judah.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270937189697735920.post-10317755497643597452009-01-05T17:46:00.000-08:002009-01-05T17:46:00.000-08:00Hey, I didn't know you were also a Latina! Wonder...Hey, I didn't know you were also a Latina! Wonderful! I am 1/2 Brazilian and share a lot of your thoughts! <br><br>Happy New Year!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270937189697735920.post-78680141894249263402009-01-05T18:50:00.000-08:002009-01-05T18:50:00.000-08:00Great post Danielle...it made me think a lot about...Great post Danielle...it made me think a lot about how to instill that same pride in Pacey. I hope to be able to do this as well as your Mother obviously did!! <br><br>And yes, my white burning skin stinks:-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270937189697735920.post-79144250773301284502009-01-06T15:27:00.000-08:002009-01-06T15:27:00.000-08:00Love, love, love this post. I've been thinking abo...Love, love, love this post. I've been thinking about this a lot lately myself and just wrote an adoption FAQ featuring something like: "I absolutely won't tolerate any form of racism directed to ANY racial/ethnic group in front of me or my kids. I've always felt this way but now I'm going to be a momma bear about it."<br><br>Totally jealous of your skin =}Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270937189697735920.post-71952079772981730062009-01-06T18:59:00.000-08:002009-01-06T18:59:00.000-08:00As usual, great post Danielle! -TanyaAs usual, great post Danielle! -TanyaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270937189697735920.post-89041982003837353102009-01-06T19:10:00.000-08:002009-01-06T19:10:00.000-08:00Funny how having our children makes us more vulner...Funny how having our children makes us more vulnerable to intolerance. Things happen and we become a spectator because we do not KNOW how to respond without conflict. An apology is OK for the moment-but it's our behavior that teaches all for the long term. Learning as we go. Holding unto the hurt can be harmful. You are courageous to confront wrongs and right them. Talking calmly has it's benefits. Judah will love you for your wisdom. Love Nana.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270937189697735920.post-2640198701183404572009-01-06T23:34:00.001-08:002009-01-06T23:34:00.001-08:00This brought tears to my eyes. I printed out this ...This brought tears to my eyes. I printed out this post and it is stored in my nightstand, so i can read it anytime I want. Dad always said I was an "Honorary Mexican." For 38 years he's been telling me that, and now I believe it.<br>XOXO,<br>MomAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270937189697735920.post-41040447018604619652009-01-06T23:34:00.000-08:002009-01-06T23:34:00.000-08:00This brought tears to my eyes. I printed out this ...This brought tears to my eyes. I printed out this post and it is stored in my nightstand, so i can read it anytime I want. Dad always said I was an "Honorary Mexican." For 38 years he's been telling me that, and now I believe it.<br>XOXO,<br>MomAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270937189697735920.post-32837436384985530802009-01-07T13:44:00.000-08:002009-01-07T13:44:00.000-08:00Wow, GREAT post! Loved every word of it.Wow, GREAT post! Loved every word of it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-270937189697735920.post-44195734872675501222009-01-09T06:31:00.000-08:002009-01-09T06:31:00.000-08:00D~You are a gifted writer, a courageous woman, and...D~<br>You are a gifted writer, a courageous woman, and an amazing mother. Thank you for this insightful post...I as well struggle with these issues on the inside. I have all these brilliant responses planed, but when the situation actually happens...I freeze in bewilderment that there are people that so hateful and so uneducated? Another huge problem, is that "these people" are usually my family or friends of my family that make the most ignorant comments...although I am quite sure they were unintended? But, I guess it is our job to educate them...it is just a hard thing to do sometimes; when their comments cut right straight through your soul.<br>thank you again...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com