Sunday, March 29, 2009

So there's that dream...

My reality is different. Judah may want his mama for certain things, but bedtime is clearly dada's department. Moments ago I tried it. The result, a clear scream of desperation followed by "I love you dada...I love you dada...I love you dada." He's smart. He may have just turned 20 months, but he knows how to work us. This hurts my feelings. I'd like to be all big and tough and giving and ONLY see the positives...and there are MANY positives. For instance, that Judah has an amazing dad. A dad whose superior olfactory senses detect potty before I do and who has NEVER paused before changing Jude's diaper and who has never tried to pass him off. A dad who knows instinctively the hunger and sleepy level of Judah at all times. A dad who takes pride in the fact that his son is SO attached to him and has worked hard to earn it. A dad who cringes at the thought of a father who would NOT want to change a diaper or not want to take care of any of his child's needs for that matter. A dad who LOVES helping out his "Little Dude" and whose favorite thing is making him laugh (although, with Jude, this is NOT a difficult task). Well, the positives...I guess THEY are just TOO easy, because I'm the man out and I'm pouting about it tonight.

ReAdoption Date

Guess what? We have exiting news! April 8th is our readoption date!!! Our court appointment is at 11:00AM and we are going to celebrate after with delicious Ethiopian cuisine in Little Ethiopia. Wanna join us? We'd love to have you there. Let us know.

P.S. I guess there was a bit of confusion regarding the meaning of "readoption"... Some fabulous friends thought that it meant we were adopting a SECOND child. Nope, still working on our first adoption. Judah will get his US birth certificate and legal name change. Oh, and a tip for anyone considering paying their agency a ridiculous fee (e.g. our agency wanted $1600) for this - it cost us $20 and took approximately 1 stress-free hour to do this ourselves. California readoption questions can be addressed here for free.

A SECOND adoption announcement is still to come :) ... stay tuned.

Friday, March 27, 2009

It's all about the olive in the middle

Judah has a favorite food. No other food comes close. He will scream this sad, painful howl if he runs out of bites too quickly. It's his "tamale wail."

Let me explain it a bit. Judah's mouth opens wide and it sounds like an angry scream, but his eyes have such sadness in them. It's like watching his heart break a little. When it first happened I thought he was terribly hurt. I actually panicked, making sure there was no blood. We tried offering him different kinds of food, even some favorites, but this just seemed to aggravate the situation. Finally, when his dad raised his tamale-loaded fork, Judah dramatically leaned and loudly grunted (there was no time and emotions were too high for words). He was instantly elated. On a tamale high.
Running out of's a dramatic and sad, sad story.

My Auntie Marina fed Jude his first tamale on Christmas. He was instantly hooked. I vividly remember watching his first bites (I was given a mommy break and was simultaneously enjoying mine). It was beautiful.

Every family I know makes tamales a little differently. We place an olive in the middle. It has to be there. Isn't the same without it. Yes, there is an olive controversy. No, you cannot change my mind. Omitting the olive is like offering someone a Cracker Jax box without the prize. Generally, olives are not my favorite food. But, a tamale without an olive? That's just crazy chatter.

Tamales. You know what's inside, but it's still like unwrapping a present. They are about family. Why? A family effort went into making them. You eat them on super-special-fuzzy-days, like Christmas. They are warm, smell good, and just eating them means that someone loved you enough to put in the effort to make them. They are more than food.

Do you know how happy it makes his Mexican Mama that Judah completely gets that?

Why Can't You Make Up Your Mind Already...or Therapy Needed Obviously

The public/private/public deal has got to make you dizzy. Me too. I feel that since I took you on that little journey, it's only fair I share a bit about why. I think being public is important. I remember LY letting me know that my blog actually helped her a tad during the adoption process. That's super important to me. I know I've gotten such amazing support and been introduced to some pretty amazing folks through this blog. I would like to think that it's possible that my little family might bring someone a pinch of comfort during the emotionally trying adoption process. Reading/writing blogs was/is comfort to me. I still want to be part of that. People who have not been through the adoption process may not fully understand why it's special. But, it is. We NEED one another. Right?
Which leads me to the dark side. Why did I go private? I was in a BAD place because a coworker made work life super difficult (and you know how much I typically LOVE my work). I work in the schools and it killed my heart (he has since been fired). Then someone else violated and then exploited our privacy so unbelievably badly in our own home, well, it's hard to talk about. I went through a time when no place seemed safe/sacred. It was really hard to believe that people can treat other people that badly and show no remorse. Now three months later, I feel better/stronger. So I'm back to sharing my feelings and thoughts publicly...and I have lots to share :)

Sunday, March 22, 2009


Please help us build a well in Ethiopia. Go HERE

Mrs. Haregewoin Teferra

Please help her children.
The world seems dim today. Without her. Without her light.
We lost a hero.
Someone with the strength. We wish we had. Collectively.
Please help her children.
For them. For her. For the world.
We need more heroes.
The world needs more light.
Please help her children.


Monday, March 2, 2009


This past weekend we sent in our REadoption paperwork. We had all the paperwork collected and ready to mail Saturday afternoon. In the Borders parking lot, I glanced over the paperwork from Ethiopia. I wasn't prepared for instant-overflowing-Borders-parking-lot-tears. That's one thing about adoption. It's emotionally complex. I thought that the emotional part of this journey was prior to and during the adoption process. Once Judah was safely home, I thought I could breathe. I was wrong. I was crying because of the loss. The loss of Tesfahun's mom. That's a loss that's part of our lives permanently.
The good news is that we should be assigned a court date super soon. Strange, I thought it was just going to be formality stuff, but I'm very excited.